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]]>He started the meeting with a prayer that made it clear I was supposed to forgive any wrongdoing which I am, but forcing forgiveness someone else to forgive…is that really forgiveness?”
It was made clear that the other pastor would not attend the meeting, and the pastor I met with apologized on his behalf (sort of). My daughter did say, “That’s not really your responsibility to take responsibility for someone else.” Bottom line, I am “allowed to attend.” I find the whole situation repulsive, not of Christ. If leadership uses lies and manipulation – much less won’t follow any of the Biblical methods of conflict resolution – It seems their actions don’t match the verse-by-verse teaching they espouse.
Suppose a pastor is misled by a congregant’s manipulation and lies (since Calvary Chapels don’t have memberships) and asks someone not to attend based on those lies. What responsibility should the lying congregant bear once it’s confirmed they were not truthful? If an executive pastor gatekeeps information from a pastor and only gives his narrative, what’s the recourse? Shouldn’t discernment be a gift somewhere in leadership? Should there be heartfelt apologies all around, or should the hope just be that the offended party goes away quietly?
Now an overseer must be blameless and beyond reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not addicted to wine, not [a]a bully nor quick-tempered and hot-headed, but gentle and considerate, free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical]. 4 He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved] 5 (for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?).
Things I’m pondering
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]]>27 Now you [collectively] are Christ’s body, and individually [you are] members of it [each with his own special purpose and function]. 28 So God has appointed and placed in the church [for His own use]: first apostles [chosen by Christ], second prophets [those who foretell the future, those who speak a new message from God to the people], third teachers, then those who work miracles, then those with the gifts of healings, the helpers, the administrators, and speakers in various kinds of [unknown] tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Are all workers of miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But earnestly desire and strive for the greater gifts [if acquiring them is going to be your goal]. And yet I will show you a still more excellent way [one of the choicest graces and the highest of them all: unselfish love].
Paul also talks about counseling: “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12).
The biblical counseling method utilizes the scripture as the source of magnifying glass that walks along as a guide on the side by focusing the individual pointing to Christ as the source of hope of healing.
Leadership and Counselors: What safe place do you offer? God? Or living in their painful past?
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