Whispers to be shouted Archives - Churches that hurt people need a fresh letter from Paul https://churchesthathurt.com/category/whispers-to-be-shouted/ Let's talk... Mon, 22 Jul 2024 03:18:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.1 Contentious https://churchesthathurt.com/2024/07/22/contentious/ https://churchesthathurt.com/2024/07/22/contentious/#respond Mon, 22 Jul 2024 03:18:27 +0000 https://churchesthathurt.com/?p=30 In my recent meeting with “leadership” at my church, I was told at least nine times that I was contentious and disruptive. There were no real examples except “catching eyes” with someone and “looking” at someone else. To be fair, there have been contentious times in the past with this couple. Their decisions have impacted...

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In my recent meeting with “leadership” at my church, I was told at least nine times that I was contentious and disruptive. There were no real examples except “catching eyes” with someone and “looking” at someone else. To be fair, there have been contentious times in the past with this couple. Their decisions have impacted my and my daughter’s lives, and it’s not a pretty story. I’m still going to be somewhat vague for now. But we have all attended the same church for nearly four years without issue. I go into the sanctuary at the last possible minute (to get a seat in the back), and I leave a few minutes early to avoid confrontation or “catching eyes” or, more correctly, to avoid getting the stink eye.

There have been no disruptions. I’ve looked up disruptions in the Bible, and the only thing I see is when the demon-filled girl was following Paul, and he demanded the spirit to leave. I see a lot about peace; I see specific sins called out by Paul. But I don’t see an example of someone being offended that someone else was at church and they were asked to leave. Here’s what I do see.

In Corinthians, “Let all things be done decently and in order.” (I hardly see being stopped literally at the door and told you aren’t welcome being decent or in order.)

Humble Service in the Body of Christ

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 

I want to make sure I am not seeking revenge but clarity. I seek to ensure that someone younger in the faith isn’t turned away in a spiritually abusive manner. I also think this particular leader is so intertwined that he is controlling the narrative in a very unhealthy manner. I think that needs to be exposed for the safety of the church community.

I am praying for the following:

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